Hey ladies hope you’re all well and enjoying your year so far, I can’t believe we’re half way through it already, but thank God we’ve made it to this point.
Throughout this year (so far) I’ve been on a journey to trying to be a good/better friend. Now, that seems like an easy enough thing to do, show up for them, remember their birthday and be nice. Sounds simple enough right? No! So if you haven’t already been listening to his sermons (where have you been?) Pastor Mike Todd from Transformation Church alongside Pastor Charles Metcalf produced a series on friendship called Inner Circle (Click to watch) after which I realised I was lacking in certain areas and could always do better in others.
As a result of this I’ve attempted to be more:
1. Transparent – if they really are your friend then they already know that you haven’t got it all together or at least they should (insert emoji eyes) transparency invites openess and a greater level of trust I’d say.
2. Receptive to correction – (I know that time your friend called you out just popped into your mind). Proverbs 27:5-6 reads 5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
The key I’ve found to being able to receive correction from friends is remembering to check the heart behind what they’ve addressed, are they really trying to see you be better or just provoke a reaction out of you or bring you down. Proceeding this always try and make sure that you’re responding from a place of love. At the end of the day you can’t control other people’s actions but you can dictate your own.
3. Manage each others expectations – If I don’t know I can’t do. Actively asking your friends what it is they want/would like from you and how you can best meet that expectation
i.e. Please call me more often Outcome – Scheduling in time if necessary to speak with them during the week, setting reminders if needed.
4. Checking In – Just because you think they’re okay doesn’t mean they are, if they come to mind reach out to them.
Are you okay? How did the interview go? You alright for money?
5. Accountability- Asking the tough questions and offering support
Did you finish that script? Did you speak to Sarah about how she made you feel? Go on the sooner you do it the sooner you can resolve the issue.
I could go on but the moral of the story is, invest in good friendships and make sure they’re investing in you in return. Pray, grow and slay together in a healthy, encouraging and positive environment.
“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey