If I could go back I’d say.

As I get older, I tend to reflect on some of my younger days and they flicker between good and not so good memories depending on the day but one I’ve often come back too is the idea of wanting to self harm.

I had a friend in school who had a lot of issues in their personal life and the idea of self harming came up and I began to consider it myself, mind you at that point in my life I hadn’t experienced anything that would make me want to do something like that (not that self harming is an answer to whatever situation we may be going through, if you need help don’t be afraid to ask for it) let alone go through with it but at a young age, in a history lesson as we spoke, the seed was planted.

I bring up this story just to say you never know what thoughts can suddenly take root in your mind and you look up years later wondering how did that get there. It is important to be careful about the people you allow in your space and the type of language they use around you, the words they speak over you are very important (life and death are in the power of the tongue), the older I get the pickier I am about who I spend my time with and how long I spend in their presence because I realised that the more time I spent around negative people the more negatively I began to think and look at things, before you know it I’ve become someone else simply by opening yourself up to the wrong company.

In some situations i.e. work, school it can be hard to separate yourself from individuals who tend to always bring the mood down or suggest negative solutions don’t get me wrong it can be good to have a little moan with colleagues, classmate and friends when things have gone a rye but in that I would encourage you to also be the light you want to see, speak positivity in the face of negative situations, don’t part take in conversation that will only bring you down. If after some self examination you find you are the one always bringing the tone down and never have a nice word to say, I would challenge you today to start speaking positively over yourself and over everything around you from today and watch your mindset.

If I could go back, I would have shifted the conversation and encourage my friend to seek the help they needed or at least speak about how they were feeling but I pray that they are in a better space today surrounded by love, joy and peace. I pray this for you too as you read this that you will be the change you want to see in every area of your life.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” 
Maya Angelou

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Build a Bear

Let’s build the perfect man.

In the theme of the month, I thought it would be fun to build the perfect man. Yes, yes let’s start.

He has to be tall, muscular, fresh hair cuts on a regular, high paying job so he can treat us to shopping trips (yes plural) and this one’s the major key, he has to be a man of God, lead by faith and not by sight as the good book says, oh and be able to offer emotional support, a great listener, kind, considerate, you know the basics and make me laugh (crucial).

Sounding good so far ladies? I hope that’s a yes, because if indeed such a man did exist and he was mine I’d be a very happy lady and I can tell you that for free. But just a quick question, if such a perfect specimen did exist, what is it that you will be bringing to the table? Are you at the gym 3/4 days a week, staying at your hair dresser just to make sure your hair stays laid, hustling to climb the career ladder and get the schmoney to treat him to a shopping trip or some (yes plural) dope trainers? In addition, let us not forget the major key, are you a woman of God, lead by faith and not sight? If that’s you then I hope you and your Morris are very happy together however, if this isn’t you then sorry to burst your bubble ladies.

If like myself you think about the gym more than you visit it and the rest, well you’re still waiting on all that to come together, welcome to the club.

The reason I bring this up is simply because I believe that at times we as females place unrealistic expectations on men and warrant that they tick all the above boxes before even entertaining a conversation with a potential suitor, or we get caught up talking with our female friends and end up following wrong advice in regards to the opposite sex when we ourselves don’t meet the criteria we’ve so meticulously laid out. Listen, by no means am I saying that you shouldn’t have high standards but can we be realistic, or at least strive to be the type of person we want to meet, so when and if we do meet them we won’t be looking for what we already posses within ourselves, a healthy, spirit led, ambitious, caring and overall well rounded person.

‘The wisest thing you can do is be the fullest, happiest version of you. And that means some consistent, unabashed self-lovin’. It will also inspire others to treat themselves better too.’ Susie Moore

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Summer Body State of Mind

I know this may bit a bit early for this but the weather is warming up and I’m getting excited.

Are you in that summer body state of mind? Have to hit the gym twice maybe three times a week in the run up to the summer months? Don’t we all. I’m tired just thinking about it my local gym seems to be getting that little bit fuller,  granted I haven’t been as regularly as I should but I see I’m not the only one feeling the pressure.

Can I ask why this is? Why do we feel we need to look a certain way to achieve a level of bae-ness which will magically come about when we fit into that bikini or one piece (which ever you prefer) without our usual lumps and bumps, take some bomb pictures and live happily ever after. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for fitness and striving for your best self as per my previous post but what’s so wrong with a little bit of extra on the side.

We don’t need to be a size 8-10 to have an amazing summer. We can wear that swimsuit and be fabulous, yes you may not be lumps and bump free but there are so many shapes, sizes and styles to fit all body types that you don’t have to feel like the odd one out but join the party and have that summer you’re always wanted. Create memories with loved ones and take those pictures that will be on rotation all the way through winter until summer comes upon us again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is enjoy every bit of you while you can, the good the bad and the lumpy. You may want your body to look a certain way and Im sure with hard work at the gym and so good food choices (which I’m still working on) will help you in that department but try and learn to be comfortable with who you are and what you look like, Tall, Skinny or with a little bit more loving around the sides.

Summer ’16 I hope you’re ready because we’re coming for ya! Turn UP!

“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”

– Susan Cain

Much Love

FemaleFrame x