Authenticated

Normally I’d dive right in but today I going to start off with a quote from an interview I watched via Youtube on the As/Is channel.

“At the end of the day I’m living with me, 24hrs a day, 7 days a week and I have to be happy with me” Jazzmyne

What You Don’t Know About Jazzmyne

In my last few posts I’d say the overarching theme has been the betterment of one’s self either via friendships, relationships in general or letting go of our (sometimes) innate people pleasing mentality in an effort to go, do and be great. Simply put lol.

I believe you cannot achieve true meaningful successor greatness by being less than 100% authentic to yourself and your beliefs. Those awards you’ve just accepted might as well read Becky Thomson rather than (insert own name here) if all the hard work you’ve put in to be ‘recognised’ backfires and you’re stuck living your life striving to live up to this imaginary persona you’ve invited everyone to believe is you.

Authentic – of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine.

Being authentic to me means letting people see the real you, good, bad, ugly and in-between and not circuming to the pressure of conforming and ultimately making yourself uncomfortable to fit the box you were never meant to be in.

Did you know that when you were born you (yes you person reading this post, HI!) automatically qualified to be the only you in the entire world, isn’t that something. Take a moment and embrace that.

You might be a twin, quadruplet, quintuplet etc but even within that God created you specifically to impact the world in your own unique way. Just picture it this way, I can only get to where I’m supposed to be by being me, improving where I can, learning all I can and shining like the star that I am.

Short and sweet today but I hope this hits home for someone.

Much Love

FFx

Desiring Man

Lately I’ve been struggling with the concept of man’s approval vs God’s approval, I know what you’re thinking, GOD’S WAY OR THE HIGHWAY MY FRIEND! (side note: I agree lol) but I have to admit it’s not as easy as that. Let me explain…

Growing up seeking approval was a constant thing, ‘Did I do good?’, ‘Does this look good?’, ‘Do you like me?’ as humans we’ve been conditioned to look for validation and to get it wherever and whenever we can. I’ve found this can sometimes have a crippling effect on myself and others, not wanting to do or say anything in the fear that we won’t receive the accolades we’ve been striving for when in reality you deserve all the accolades…yes, you do.

The innate desire we have to please can eclipse our desire to please God and do what he’s called us to do. As a result of the constant battle between trying to make your partner, friend, boss or relative happy (which you can never really do because only you are responsible for your own happiness. Make a decision today to make yourself happy first) or comfortable because we’ve done what they wanted for a temporary hand clap or cheer at the expense of doing whatever it is that God has planted in us to do and making him happy.

I also considered the word desire and that connotes a state of being wanted and or accepted which are valid emotions to have but not at the expense of your self worth being exploited or putting yourself in compromising positions in pursuit of temporary gratification or having that feeling validated, trust me it never ends well.

I’ve said all that to say, pursue God and his desires for your life which are good and not evil, he genuinely wants you to prosper and live well rather than living for your next hand clap or ‘like’. It’s time to go, do and be great, letting go of the weigh of ‘Will they get it?’,’Will they come?’ etc the people who are meant to get it will and they’ll support because you finally stepped out and did what they’ve been waiting for someone to do with or without the accolades, validation, acceptance etc…just do it.

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”
― Mohadesa Najumi

Much Love

FF x

Friendship Evolved

Hey ladies hope you’re all well and enjoying your year so far, I can’t believe we’re half way through it already, but thank God we’ve made it to this point.

Throughout this year (so far) I’ve been on a journey to trying to be a good/better friend. Now, that seems like an easy enough thing to do, show up for them, remember their birthday and be nice. Sounds simple enough right? No! So if you haven’t already been listening to his sermons (where have you been?) Pastor Mike Todd from Transformation Church alongside Pastor Charles Metcalf produced a series on friendship called Inner Circle (Click to watch) after which I realised I was lacking in certain areas and could always do better in others.

As a result of this I’ve attempted to be more:

1. Transparent – if they really are your friend then they already know that you haven’t got it all together or at least they should (insert emoji eyes) transparency invites openess and a greater level of trust I’d say.

2. Receptive to correction – (I know that time your friend called you out just popped into your mind). Proverbs 27:5-6 reads 5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. 

The key I’ve found to being able to receive correction from friends is remembering to check the heart behind what they’ve addressed, are they really trying to see you be better or just provoke a reaction out of you or bring you down. Proceeding this always try and make sure that you’re responding from a place of love. At the end of the day you can’t control other people’s actions but you can dictate your own.

3. Manage each others expectations – If I don’t know I can’t do. Actively asking your friends what it is they want/would like from you and how you can best meet that expectation

        i.e. Please call me more often Outcome – Scheduling in time if necessary to speak with them during the week, setting reminders if needed.

4. Checking In – Just because you think they’re okay doesn’t mean they are, if they come to mind reach out to them.

Are you okay? How did the interview go? You alright for money?

5. Accountability- Asking the tough questions and offering support

Did you finish that script? Did you speak to Sarah about how she made you feel? Go on the sooner you do it the sooner you can resolve the issue.

6. Love

7. Trust

I could go on but the moral of the story is, invest in good friendships and make sure they’re investing in you in return. Pray, grow and slay together in a healthy, encouraging and positive environment.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

Much Love

FF x