What to Expect when Expecting

No. This is definitely not a pregnancy announcement as I’m sure the title might have eluded too but rather a look into some of the pit falls we may come across when it comes to un managed expectations.

Expect

Regard (someone) as likely to do or be something.

The older I get, the more self aware I feel I have become and I’m sure most of us would agree. We have crafted specific expectations that we’ve placed on God and individuals sometimes unbeknown to them (guilty party here) assuming that you are on the same page and even heading in the same direction.

I believe that through shared experiences we start to create, I wouldn’t say un-realist expectations because our expectations can in fact be quite reasonable and others may also share in your assumptions of how the story is supposed to go but the spanner that always gets in the mix occurs when communication is poor/non existent and the other individual falls victim to being the source of that unmet expectation.

Expectation vs reality can sometimes be hard to wrap our heads around as we can spend some much time building hopes and dreams around what we believed our expected reality would be that the reality of a thing can be a wrecking ball to the one we built on assumptions and unspoken needs and wants.

Expectation

A strong belief that something will happen or be the case.

Have I been knocked down? Yes, you darn skippy I have and several times at that however, in this life I’ve come to the understanding that sometimes we need those moments to throw us off the fictional path we’ve paved for ourselves and get us back on track with the tools we gathered from those sometimes hurtful experiences.

I’ve been in situations where I expected to be ‘chosen’ but soon realised I wasn’t even an option (harsh but true statement, wake up and smell the house burning around you sis, let it/them go). In life, I believe it is important to know where you are and where you stand and to let your voice be heard (your yes or no) and your presence felt (good or bad, please be good) don’t let desperation speak for you potentially putting you in compromising positions.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

― Bruce Lee

In conclusion, have those hard or awkward conversations in an effort to be better communicators and avoid those pit falls of unmet/unmanaged expectations. Send a text, type it/write it out and read it if you have to but let’s be honest about what we want, who we want and how we want them to show up in our lives.

Much Love

FF x

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/expectations

Faith Over Mind

I know it’s not the catchiest of titles but stick with me, I’m going somewhere.

So, Le struggle is still real ya’ll (shout out to my old post). I’m not sure how many of you have ever been in a place where you’re on fire, I mean fire a-lie fire, writing to do lists and ticking them off, slaying at work, being a supportive friend etc until suddenly you hit a wall, and this wall looks a lot like self doubt and anxiety merged with a bit of beating yourself up and to top it off there’s a mirror showing you the worst case scenario. Yes, that’s an impress wall because guess what, I built it!

As far as I can remember, I’ve batted back and forth between Faith and Mind constant worry and considering what others opinions MIGHT be has held me in a state of limbo. Those around me baffled, as to why I’ve suddenly stopped when the engine was on full blast and some were still strapped in ready to go on the ride with me.

To be honest, the answer to that is the plain truth of being comfortable in current surroundings and situations not wanting to push out into the unknown and try something new, assuming the role of God but still only able to guess what the possible outcome could be, don’t get me wrong the picture usually starts off rosy but then thorns start to invade the picture pricking away at the bold image that is an idea for an event, blog post, design etc.

Faith:
Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Faith:
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1

The definition and scripture above have been an aide on the few occasions of stepping outside the box to dare to do something different “God’s got my back, I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (insert the arm flex emogi here) and for that event, design request etc I’ve push through (with the help of God, family and friends) but after the glow of those things I fall back to the same feelings of inadequacy.

If any of this has resonated with you then don’t feel as though you’re alone, because we all have moments of letting our minds out weigh the faith we have in God and ourselves for things to come to pass in the most beautiful and amazing, beyond what you can think or imagine kind of way but now that you are aware of your minds propensity to sway the wrong way I pray that your first instinct will be to cling to good, positive thoughts and ignore the latter. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

Much Love

FFx

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/faith
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+11&version=KJV
http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2017/christian-quotes/

Thinking Out Loud

Me, myself and I make up one great me. I’m beginning to learn this the more time I spend being on my own.

Recently I’ve become more aware of my tendencies to want to shut the world out and just be alone and upon reflection I’ve been this way inclined for quite a few years. Lately the act of stepping out or rather stepping away and actually retreating from the crowd (friendship groups, family) can be quite daunting especially when you feel the unconscious pull to be and stay with the crowd or they might think something is wrong (thanks for checking though), having to entertain awkward conversations when the introvert inside is cringing. Sometimes I just want to be on my own, is that so bad, to take a minute to chill and process my ever evolving thoughts.

I’ve never been in the position where I don’t like being in my own company because when I wake up I’m me and when I go to sleep I’m still me, no one will ever spend as much time with me as I do (I hope you followed that lol). If you do find yourself in the position where you feel awkward or antsy being alone I’d suggest taking small concerted efforts to  practice moments of alone time whether you’re reading, meditating on the word, praying or just sitting and processing one part of your life at a time (don’t try and tackle everything all at once, trust me) just give it a go. Left to my own devises, I could easily eat a bowl of cereal, find a comfy spot and read happily for hours.

If you feel as though you are just an anti social, introvert and you’re to the point where it is hurting your relationships then maybe it’s time to start looking into some tips or steps on how to overcome this or maybe open up to your friends/ family just to let them know you might find it a bit difficult so they don’t feel as if you’re ignoring them or that you don’t care. If people know how to help then they will (hopefully).

In conclusion, I like my alone time, I also like to be around people. When I go off on my own 8/10 I’m just in full introvert mode lol and loving it.

“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.”

Ellen Burstyn

Disclaimer 1: It’s not that I don’t want to be around you or enjoy my time with you I just enjoy being on my own from time to time or prefer smaller groups of people.

Disclaimer 2: Sometimes this can go too far and I have to make special efforts to be social and I am aware of this. If I message you or make plans to hang out with you, feel the love. If not then you’re pending don’t feel no way.

Much Love

FemaleFrame x