Le Struggle

Insert church finger here > Sooo sorry guys, it’s been a minute since I’ve posted but I hope you’ve all been well and enjoying the part time summer we’ve been experiencing lately.

To be honest it’s been a struggle to get myself to sit and just write so I’m happy that I’ve finally managed to make it happen hence why this post is entitled Le Struggle.

How many days have I shouted at myself in my mind to be proactive, write that post, call that person, schedule that appointment, spend that quality time with God and I have to say most days it’s a struggle. I always end up on Youtube (watching christmas movies in May), sleeping or finding something else to distract me from doing what I need to do. But why is that you ask? Well, most days I know the answers and it’s just fear, plain and simple (insert S Club 7 song) fear of failure, doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing, being rejected all of that good stuff.

As I ponder on the many reasons why I shouldn’t do, say or write in this case I remember that God has not given me the spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND!! Sometimes I really have to be reminded and give myself a good talking too because guess what the struggle is real. I have to remind myself that if I don’t do what God has placed in me to do then that would be a wasted life and that I’m not in competition with ANYONE, my lane is free and clear I just need to run in it. There are so many things geared at trying to convince us we can’t do something we need to CLING to that which is good i.e. the word of God speaking life into us.

So, this is a short post but a much needed one just to put something out there and not let the negative thoughts of failure and not being good enough over rule my desire to try and put my best foot forward one step at a time and hopefully encouraging someone else to do the same.

2 Timothy 1:7 New Living Translation
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Build a Bear

Let’s build the perfect man.

In the theme of the month, I thought it would be fun to build the perfect man. Yes, yes let’s start.

He has to be tall, muscular, fresh hair cuts on a regular, high paying job so he can treat us to shopping trips (yes plural) and this one’s the major key, he has to be a man of God, lead by faith and not by sight as the good book says, oh and be able to offer emotional support, a great listener, kind, considerate, you know the basics and make me laugh (crucial).

Sounding good so far ladies? I hope that’s a yes, because if indeed such a man did exist and he was mine I’d be a very happy lady and I can tell you that for free. But just a quick question, if such a perfect specimen did exist, what is it that you will be bringing to the table? Are you at the gym 3/4 days a week, staying at your hair dresser just to make sure your hair stays laid, hustling to climb the career ladder and get the schmoney to treat him to a shopping trip or some (yes plural) dope trainers? In addition, let us not forget the major key, are you a woman of God, lead by faith and not sight? If that’s you then I hope you and your Morris are very happy together however, if this isn’t you then sorry to burst your bubble ladies.

If like myself you think about the gym more than you visit it and the rest, well you’re still waiting on all that to come together, welcome to the club.

The reason I bring this up is simply because I believe that at times we as females place unrealistic expectations on men and warrant that they tick all the above boxes before even entertaining a conversation with a potential suitor, or we get caught up talking with our female friends and end up following wrong advice in regards to the opposite sex when we ourselves don’t meet the criteria we’ve so meticulously laid out. Listen, by no means am I saying that you shouldn’t have high standards but can we be realistic, or at least strive to be the type of person we want to meet, so when and if we do meet them we won’t be looking for what we already posses within ourselves, a healthy, spirit led, ambitious, caring and overall well rounded person.

‘The wisest thing you can do is be the fullest, happiest version of you. And that means some consistent, unabashed self-lovin’. It will also inspire others to treat themselves better too.’ Susie Moore

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Can We Talk?

Yes, I know we’ve barely settled into 2018 and it’s already time to have a talk but, I have to be honest…I feel threatened.

Threaten – Cause someone or something to be vulnerable or at risk

So, like I said I feel threatened, vulnerable, at risk even of being exposed, it’s so bright and shiny and big and all consuming, I think anyone would be.

She’s chasing her dreams, making it happen and it looks so much like what I want to do but have been too afraid to step into, so now when I do it everyone is going to think I copied her omg! Why does she have to be so great!

I think we’ve all felt a version of this at one point or another (maybe not as polite or politically correct as I’ve phrased it lol), feelings of insignificance or insecurity, seeing someone else shining doing what they know they were born to do, which so happens to be in the same area we are feeling led to go into. “How can I compete with her? She’s already got a 100k followers and I’m still here struggling to make my page look aesthetically pleasing like she does” or “She’s written like 5 songs in a week and I’m still here trying to string together a sentence!!” ORRRR “Why did he choose her I mean I’m cute too!”

How did I get here? and why do I feel this negatively about my fellow sister succeeding? I propose that it is an issue of comparison stealing your joy in what should (scratch that) in what is a happy moment, all because of that small voice inside that says “I should have done it first!”, “I would have done it differently” Well guess what you didn’t, so stop your hating and be happy for her, don’t you see her doing it up BIG, shining and slaying at the same time, be happy for her damn it! And back to that man envy statement I mention earlier we need to stop that too but happy for them that they’re both gonna shine together and make some shiny babies COME ON!!! We all need to check ourselves from time to time.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative that we don’t take time to uplift, celebrate and encourage each other as females. Just because she’s started her own business or gotten into a relationship doesn’t then discount you or me from entering the race, if anything she’s opened the door a little wider for us and she also showing us it’s possible to find a good man. I say this to say it’s all about perspective, choose to be the sister that puts a spotlight on the sun rather than trying to put it out.

Deep down a part of me was comfortable when we were both on the same level so to see you step out and do what I so badly want to do was a blow to my self esteem. I want us all to be big and bright and shiny together, striving to tap into that God given thing placed inside all of us to be able impact this world. I’m excited for you and this new chapter in your lives. Here’s to shiny ventures and new loves.

“Peter must have thought, “Who am I compared to Mr. Faithfulness (John)?” But Jesus clarified the issue. John was responsible for John. Peter was responsible for Peter. And each had only one command to heed: “Follow Me.” (John 21:20-22)”
― Charles R. Swindoll

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

2018! You looking good girl!! YASS!!!

Okay some maybe this post is a tiny bit late but I know you guys won’t mind.

WELCOME TO 2018 EVERYONE! Lol there I’ve said it.

So, I honestly feel like 2018 has so much in store for us, so many idea from 2017 that need to get some legs this year, so many relationship that need to come to an end or go to the next level this year ( whichever one just came to mind is definitely the one you need to be addressing as soon as possible) and so many opportunities we need to utilise.

This is just the beginning of the year, I can’t wait to see what we all accomplish this year.

Get it get it, hey hey.

“Most times, the way isn’t clear, but you want to start anyway. It is in starting with the first step that other steps become clearer.”
― Israelmore AyivorLeaders’ Frontpage: Leadership Insights from 21 Martin Luther King Jr. Thoughts

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Summer Body State of Mind

I know this may bit a bit early for this but the weather is warming up and I’m getting excited.

Are you in that summer body state of mind? Have to hit the gym twice maybe three times a week in the run up to the summer months? Don’t we all. I’m tired just thinking about it my local gym seems to be getting that little bit fuller,  granted I haven’t been as regularly as I should but I see I’m not the only one feeling the pressure.

Can I ask why this is? Why do we feel we need to look a certain way to achieve a level of bae-ness which will magically come about when we fit into that bikini or one piece (which ever you prefer) without our usual lumps and bumps, take some bomb pictures and live happily ever after. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for fitness and striving for your best self as per my previous post but what’s so wrong with a little bit of extra on the side.

We don’t need to be a size 8-10 to have an amazing summer. We can wear that swimsuit and be fabulous, yes you may not be lumps and bump free but there are so many shapes, sizes and styles to fit all body types that you don’t have to feel like the odd one out but join the party and have that summer you’re always wanted. Create memories with loved ones and take those pictures that will be on rotation all the way through winter until summer comes upon us again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is enjoy every bit of you while you can, the good the bad and the lumpy. You may want your body to look a certain way and Im sure with hard work at the gym and so good food choices (which I’m still working on) will help you in that department but try and learn to be comfortable with who you are and what you look like, Tall, Skinny or with a little bit more loving around the sides.

Summer ’16 I hope you’re ready because we’re coming for ya! Turn UP!

“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”

– Susan Cain

Much Love

FemaleFrame x

Buy Me Flowers!

Yes! I want hearts, flowers and all the nice things I see people in relationships with like the hand holding, going to the movies, buying each other gifts. HEY! Buy Me Flowers!!!

That’s all well and good but have you ever thought to buy yourself a bouquet or just get dressed and going to see that film you’ve been waiting to see. Don’t wait for that elusive perfect partner to arrive stage right to make yourself feel special. How did I come to this realisation you ask? Well…

One day as I scrolled through Instagram (as you do) I came across a picture of a beautiful lady holding a bunch of flowers, so I tapped the image and read the caption. To paraphrase, in an attempt to try and make herself feel good she bought herself some flowers and loved the reality of waking up to the sight and smell of flowers made her feel. This then led me to think, ‘Why am I waiting for someone else to give me ‘hearts and flowers’ ? or whatever that maybe for you, I mean I have a job that pays me (it would be a shame if it didn’t lol) why can’t I make it happen for myself.

This is not to discredit those special moments within the context of a relationship but what if I never experience that should I miss out on my flowers?

So to end this post I challenge you to do something whether it’s getting dressed up and taking yourself out, buying your favourite flowers or just spending some quiet time alone, make sure you do something that will make YOU feel good about YOU!

“The challenge is not to be perfect…it’s to be whole.”

– Jane Fonda

Much Love

FemaleFrame x